Someone wanted to make a movie about Katy Perry’s life. Not only will the film be released this summer, but its going to be in 3-D. That means bubblegum pop personified so that it literally hits you in the face. The poster was revealed earlier this week and is one of the only hints at what the film will include. Conclusions that can be drawn from this poster about the movie: there will be donuts involved, Katy Perry is going to skin some smurfs to make a wig, she grew up in 1950, she’s always been tall and Barbie-ish, the image of her future self in her magic mirror didn’t scare the sh*t out of her, porcelain cats are better than real ones, thigh high socks are good for traveling on your knees on a wood floor. Can’t wait to see “Part of Me” Katy Perry, can’t f*cking wait.

Are  you excited for Katy Perry in Part of Me?

Not that I had any doubts what-so-ever, America. The result of 90 million votes last night brought Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips to the last battle to see who will be the next American Idol. Joshua Ledet was sent home last night. Ledet’s departing song was his ole stand-by, “It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World.” It was a shock to see Ledet go. I thought the two boys would be duking it out for the top spot. My sadness was cut short by the realization that I get to watch my main man, Phillip “Sexual” Phillips perform for one more week!

Previous “Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert performed as well as Lisa Marie Presley (for real, America?). Who could pay attention to their performances with such weighty news waiting on Seacrest’s cue-card?

Do you think Ledet should have stayed? 

Not to disappoint fans of the stoner franchise, Kal Penn and John Cho will be voicing the  main characters; on board, as well, are the producers from the original Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle movie, according to Deadline.com. The step towards an animated series begs the question, will it be normal animation or claymation? In A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas there was a stop animation/claymation sequence mimicking previous famous Christmas animations like Frosty the Snowman which thoroughly enhanced the movie.

Not many more details have been released about the series, but one can sit back, take a puff, and imagine the possibilities the bumbling duo could get themselves into on a regular basis.

Do you think the cartoon version will be as good as the movies?

To follow updates on the event you can follow them on Twitter.

Will you be celebrating MCA’s life this weekend?

Do I love you? So much! Do I want to have sex with you on your boat? Sounds like fun! Do I want to kiss you all over? I’ve been waiting all night! Do I like it when you bite my neck? It makes me soooo wet! Do I like it when you slap my ass and call me a dirty little bitch? I love it! Do I want to roll around in gasoline while you throw lit matches at me? What are we waiting for?!? Do I want to have my toe nails removed tortuously slow, give fire ants free range over my body while you cum all over my face? Oh God Baby! Take me now!

Boys. Boys. Boys. Listen to what you are actually saying to a woman. You have not found some ultimate love connection out there among the masses in the real world. Some woman who loves everything you blab on and on about. Some sex kitten who will laugh like crazy over your every lame joke, who will coo over your bowl movements, and thrust her hips during each lull in the conversation just to remind you that you are driving her wild with sexual desire. What you’ve got on your hands there sir, is a stripper.

So don’t squint your eyes at me, and say that you won’t be surprised when I don’t call you. Don’t tagline every crass joke with the fact that the only thing I’m in love with is your money. Well, hypocrite, I’m pretty sure you didn’t slip into this strip club hoping to fondle my mind.

Besides, I’m not saying “I do.” I’m saying “would you like a dance?” These are two very different vows. One involves a hot woman caressing your crotch, telling you how handsome you are, and giggling at your every insulting grab. The other involves a woman expecting too much, eventually becoming disappointed by your lack luster performance, and ending the whole angry shebang in a wallet raping divorce. So…who’s the enemy here again?

Best not to tug on the unicorn’s horn..it’s detachable. Then you’re just left with a horse.

Sunny,

Money and out.

p.s. still loving blonde

Phillip Phillips, Jessica Sanchez, and Joshua Ledet

There are three contestants left on “American Idol,” America. After last night, all three are equally matched in my eyes. In order to fill a two hour show with only three contestants, “Idol” producers took us to the contestants’ hometowns. Each potential Idol was given three songs; one they chose for themselves, one picked by the judges, and one picked by Jimmy Iovine. Hometowns were touching, and the song choice was on point. It’s gonna be a toss up, America. I’m nervous about tonight’s elimination show.

Joshua Ledet first sang Etta James’ “I’d Rather Be Blind,” picked by Randy Jackson. Although the judges have been complaining that Ledet has been picking songs that were too gospel-y, they loved the performance. We got to see Joshua’s New Orleans roots at a crawfish boil with an old lady with an eyepatch! We then were taken to his Dad’s church where what seemed like a million people gathered, then lead a parade to a big stadium where even more people were cheering “Team Josh!” I seriously want to hang out with Joshua and his family later this summer; New Orleans is not that far away from Austin, right? Back in Hollywood, Joshua sings “Imagine”  for his own choice, accompanied by a piano. Jimmy Iovine picked the best song for Joshua, giving him “No More Drama” by Mary J. Blige. The performance was loaded with energy, so much so, Joshua even rips his jacket off in the middle of the song. Before Joshua is even done singing, the camera cuts to the crowd as they go wild with excitement. I know. He’s a great performer, but calm down America! We still have two more contestants to go.

J.Lo picks “My All” by Mariah Carey for the little lady, Jessica Sanchez, to sing. The song is Mariah Carey’s least melodic song (in my humble opinion), and Jessica slays it, although the judges don’t get to their feet. Steven Tyler goes so far to say that Jessica is probably going to win the whole thing, but he says that to every girl. For Jessica’s hometown visit, we get to see her on her way to Chula Vista, California in a helicopter. Sanchez performs at the Chula Vista Amphitheater to a packed house. We get to see Jessica’s home, where she tells her little brothers she is going to win it for them. Jessica also discloses that she is home-schooled, and admits that she was “the dork.” As we are taken back to Hollywood, Jessica reveals that her choice of song for the evening is “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith. Suck up, much Jessica? Does Steven need money? Is that why he’s doing that Burger King commercial? Help Steven out America, buy more Aerosmith on iTunes so Jessica doesn’t have to lower her song standards like that. Jimmy Iovine doesn’t score big with his choice for Jessica, “I’ll Be There” by the Jackson 5. The judges aren’t impressed.

The judges repeat themselves, again, after Phillip “Sexual” Phillips sings “Beggin’.” “You are who you are, and we love it,” Randy rephrases. We know Randy. That why we LOVE him! Steven Tyler praises his performance as well, while J.Lo remains silent. She’s rooting for Ms. Sanchez to take the cake, a fellow girly-singer-sexpot. Phillip gets teary-eyed with his dad during his hometown visit. Was it just me, or did everyone else notice that his dad had a gun on his belt, America? I was waiting for Phillips Sr. to yell out, “’Merica! F-ya!” at any moment while wiping away his tears of pride for his son. Phillip’s hometown visit is less eventful than the others and when we get back to Hollywood, he sings “Disease” by Matchbox 20. The judges weren’t impressed, America, but I was. Jimmy’s choice for Phillip is “We’ve Got Tonight” by Bob Segar. Phillip absolutely blew the water right out of the pond with this one. I cried, America, it was that good. “[He] had a giant moment!” exclaimed Randy. Steven Tyler got a big ole bleep because he was so moved. Phillip didn’t even play his guitar, America! He just sang a beautiful song, with a beautiful melody, with a choir. Check out the video so you all can swoon right along with me.

In a nutshell, Joshua Ledet is the only one who got a standing ovation from all three judges, Jessica Sanchez sucked up to Aerosmith, and Phillip Phillips did more of the same thing he always does. My prediction for who is going home this week: Jessica Sanchez. I think that the two boys are going to duke it out next week for the top spot.

Is your choice for the next Idol a boy?

This DJ-packed event will feature workshops, meet and greets, panels, programs, featured products, and performances from some of the hottest, most established DJs in the industry. Fans will be able to meet the S.K.A.M. Artist DJs up close and personal as part of the On The Rocks Las Vegas weekend, which will include three nights of DJ-packed performances at Las Vegas’ hottest Nightclubs.

“DJs are today’s new celebrities. People will flock to these parties because of the talented DJs performing,” says Sujit Kundu, owner of S.K.A.M Artist Inc. “We have a long history with the group producing On The Rocks Las Vegas as they are also producers of the wildly successful hospitality event, Nightclub & Bar Convention and Trade Show. We know that On The Rocks Las Vegas is the place for the first ever S.K.A.M. Artist Fan Festival! These parties and workshops will be unforgettable.”

The first  On the Rocks Las Vegas entertainment and beverage festival will include several  parties, performances, contests, celebrity-integrated events, and more at over 30 of Vegas’ best nightclubs and entertainment destinations! True to the indulgent image of Las Vegas, the festival will feature a number of headliner events, as well as a breadth of exciting programmed activities. More then 30,000 people are expected to attend the On The Rocks Las Vegas.

For more information check out the website ON THE ROCKS LAS VEGAS.

Will you attend?

by Scott Campbell

Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Black Nick Fury and of course… The Incredible Hulk.

The Avengers are the shit and everyone knows it. The film was outstanding.

- It broke all the records.

- It made all of the money.

- It proved comic book films and super hero films in particular still have gas in the tank.

- It rocked more balls than anything ever seen ever.

- It literally surpassed its own monumental hype.

In fact, the only reason you didn’t get a review from me was because it would have read something like an obsessive 6^th grade girl’s gushing love letter to her favorite pop singer after having her very first orgasm with him as the subject… Graphic, I know. But I want you to understand where I’m coming from.

While making a movie is a collaborative effort, The Avengers, Marvel, and its fans owe a special debt of gratitude to the man that served as both writer and director of this film, Joss Whedon.

Back in 2007, Whedon was working with Warner Bros. to bring Wonder Woman, the greatest female super hero of all time (and only one girls know) to life on the big screen. Unfortunately, creative differences did what they do and the film never happened.

Whedon has a track record for crafting compelling female characters as evidenced by Buffy, Faith, Zoe, Willow, Kitty Pryde, and now Black Widow. Most fans agree that Whedon’s Wonder Woman would have been a sight to see.

Wonder Woman is a great character with an iconic presence that despite somehow managing to remain popular and inspiring for 70 years, finds it rather difficult to have great stories told about her; even in her medium of origin.  A failed movie led to a failed David E. Kelly television show staring a way too skinny Adrienne Palicki. WW fans are once again left with fading memories of the Wonder Woman starring Lynda Carter show from the 1970s.

While there was some skepticism from fans over Whedon’s take on the character, the tension between creator and studio was so great that they decided to end the relationship, effectively killing the movie. Still, you can’t help but wonder (pun intended) if they feel they may have missed out on the golden goose now that the Whedon-helmed The Avengers is the top movie ever.

That’s gotta sting – at least a little. It’s like passing on Michael Jordan as the first pick of the 1984 NBA draft.  I know that the WB is working on something to dethrone Marvel from their superhero movie perch, though Wonder Woman is likely not a part of that plan. Who knows what they have brewing over there?

Still, the first pick in the 1984 draft was Hakeem Olajuwon. He may not be as revered as Michael Jordan, but Hakeem the Dream was still a hall of famer as well as a stand up gentleman. Guess we’ll have to wait and see just how good The Dark Knight Rises is.

But, until then (and probably after)…

Make Mine Marvel!

via The Mary Sue

… and Nicktoons.

Does Warner Bros. regret not making Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman now that The Avengers made All Of The Money?

In case you don’t have a chance to check out the trailer, here’s just a taste of what’s to come.

Are you ready for more scotch, you dirty pirate hooker?

One can’t help wonder if “original” means that she solely did the production, or if her well-known producer/dj boy beau Afrojack had a hand in the creation. If she did them soley herself, then more power to her.

"Afrojack.. I blame you."

Given her years of experience in the party scene, it’s safe to say that Paris is undoubtedly familiar with the EDM sound, but the DJ is somewhat of a sacred position at any party. A position that I’m not sure I would want to be filled by someone who most people feel probably didn’t work her way through the ranks to earn it.

On the upside, though, if all else fails, at least she can provide the soundtrack to her next sex tape.

Do you think Paris Hilton as a DJ is a good thing?